After He Keep Asking Me Out, I Finally Agreed To Be His Girlfriend But On One Condition- Lady Narrates
I met my Kwame through our mutual friend Yaa. Before I came into the picture Kwame had his sights set on Yaa. He had been so relentless in his pursuit of her but Yaa was not interested in him. Yaa told me, “He is not my type. You know I like them rich.” I hadn’t met Kwame then so I didn’t give her disinterest in him much thought.
Our school was on vacation and we had to do an internship. Yaa called me one day when the internship was over; “What are you doing tonight? Wait, I know. You are going out with me so get ready!” So, we made plans to go out and have some fun.
I’d wanted to know how we were going to handle the bills of our outing but Yaa said, “Don’t worry about money. I’ve invited Kwame. He’s going to handle all the costs tonight. Ours is to eat, drink and enjoy the night.” I knew about her disinterest in Kwame so I didn’t feel right about taking advantage of him but we were both broke. What can a broke girl do to have a good night? I went along with her plan.
That was the day I met him for the first time. He showed up thinking he had a chance with her but while at a pub having fun, Yaa openly flirted with a random guy who was also at the pub. I felt really bad for him and a little mad at her for being so inconsiderate. As for Kwame, his anger was too big to be hidden. At some point he wanted us to leave the pub without Yaa. I had to calm him down because I wasn’t ready to go anywhere with him without Yaa. When we were done and going home, Kwame decided to have the last word. He ranted about his displeasure while calling on Yaa never to repeat that again. It was supposed to be a good night for us but ended the night in a sour mood.
Yaa’s house was the closest so he dropped her off first. Then he offered to take me home. We had a little talk on our way and he asked me, “Can we be friends?” I said, “Why not?” We exchanged contacts. Later that night we spoke on the phone. It felt nice talking to him. He seemed like a good guy.
Things picked up after that. A few days after we met, I visited him at his house. We talked and watched movies. He was a complete gentleman. He didn’t try anything inappropriate on me and this made me warm up to him. The next time we met he said, “I like you Afia. Will you be my girlfriend?” I answered, “I’m sorry but I can’t. Let’s just be friends.” I didn’t believe that he wanted to be with me for the right reasons. I felt he wanted to use me to get back at my friend.
To prove that he was serious about me, he kept coming and refused to accept my no as an answer. He would call me and say all the right things to make my head spin and my heartbeat at an unusual rate. During one of his sweet talks, he asked me, “Do you keep turning me down because I am not your type?” I told him, “My type is a man who loves me and is willing to take care of me.” He said, “I’m that kind of man so why don’t you give me a chance?” I had grown to like him but I couldn’t accept him without talking to Yaa about it.
One day I told Yaa that I’d been talking to Kwame. She said, “Oh he is a nice guy. Date him if you are interested in him.” She assured me that she did not like him romantically and I was free to be with him. This made me feel secure enough to finally accept his proposal. I told him, “Yes I will be your girlfriend but you should know about the rules I have.” He asked, “What is it?” I answered, “There will be no sex in this relationship until we are married.” He said, “That’s fine with me.”
We were on the same page. What could go wrong?
Yaa wanted to take advantage of our relationship to ask for favors for herself but I did not allow it. I protected what we had the way a soldier would protect his country. In doing so I left myself open to the hanging emotions surrounding our relationship. A few months after saying yes to him, we broke the rule. We did the thing. Shuperu. Yeah. Things were very intense between us so it didn’t surprise me that it happened. I saw it coming but didn’t do enough to prevent it from happening. If anything, I plunged into it.
After it happened, we had a conversation about it. I told him my fears, “My ex wanted us to be intimate but I wasn’t ready. Then he cheated on me with his ex. That ruined us. Now that we have done this I don’t want our relationship to be centered around it. We can still have a meaningful relationship with this in the mix.” He nodded in agreement with everything I said. Again, I thought we were on the same page.
After a while, things started changing. He wouldn’t take me out unless I asked. He only got me gifts after a fight. He would come to me with a heart of apology and a hand full of gifts to say sorry. We hardly spend quality time together. The little time we got to be together too he would want to do shuperu. Somehow, it became the most important thing in our relationship and I hated it. I started telling him, “No, I am not in the mood.” In response, he would get angry and become very irritable throughout the rest of our time together.
I didn’t understand why he had changed so much. We’ve had a conversation about everything that was going wrong but nothing changed. I went looking for answers on his phone. I discovered he had started hitting on Yaa again. He even took her out on a date. I confronted him and he didn’t deny it. I started having second thoughts about our relationship. I took a step back from everything because we had become something I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be a placeholder while he went around trying to get the girl he really wanted. I wanted love and connection, not a sex-crazed affair. I wanted partnership and growth, not games.
I tried to talk to him about it but all he said was, “I love you that’s why I cannot resist you. The more you keep yourself away from me the more I doubt your love for me.” To him, more shuperu means more love. We had a fight about it. He gave me an ultimatum, “If you don’t want to do it I will find someone who will be willing to do it. You can stay and watch me cheat on you or you can leave for your own peace. The ball is in your court.”
I can see I made a mistake with him. I gave him a pass when I didn’t know him that much. I am so sad and heartbroken. To give your all to someone and the person goes out there looking for more than you can give. That hurts. I love him but I won’t let love lead me astray into territories that would bring me more hurt than happiness. I have decided to walk away and currently, that’s exactly what I’m doing.