It’s not just compliments and sex he’s hoping for, though he wouldn’t mind a little more of those too, but there are some other things he yearns for without saying it. Men love it when a lot of good and appreciative stuffs are done for them. They just don’t voice it. Here are some of the things you should attempt to do very often as a wife.
1. Tell him how awesome he is
Of course he’s not going to complain when anyone says something nice about him (who would?), but hearing it from you means more, and experts say it’s a man’s number-one relationship need. The most important thing husbands crave from their partners is appreciation and approval — but it’s amazing how many of us are accustomed to telling our spouses what they’re doing wrong without balancing that out with positive feedback.
2. Go out with the girls
We’re not saying your hubby doesn’t love having you around. There’s no one he’d rather Netflix and chill with. But guys need time to themselves, and so do you, in order to feel their best. So consider this your invitation to plan that girlfriend’s getaway, or even a long Saturday brunch. Get a sitter for the kids so he can do whatever he feels like, too.
3. Get him to be vulnerable
Until recently, it wasn’t really a thing for men to embrace their soft sides, failures, or weaknesses. In our society, men don’t traditionally get to cry or admit they’re feeling scared or hurt, and may feel shame because these things aren’t ‘manly’. That’s an unfair thing to ask of anyone, and leads to inauthenticity and broken communication. Encourage him to open up about something from his past, and let him know it’s cool for him to always express how he’s feeling.
4. Initiate sex
You’re busy, overworked, exhausted. Girl, we feel you. But it may actually make you feel better if you get a little action, and he’ll be on top of the world if you’re the one to get things going. Sex isn’t just a physical need for men, it’s also their way of feeling connected to you.” She suggests just going for it— once a month could be a good goal — simply by sitting on his lap or tugging off his shirt. He’ll get the message pretty quick and be all sorts of stoked to continue.
5. Compliment how he’s been balancing things
Ladies are pros at balancing everything, but give your guy some props because he’s likely busy at work, too. Research shows a woman’s brain is built to be better at multi-tasking than a man’s, so it’s that much harder for him to juggle work life, home life, and a social life. And since you know he needs those appreciative words now, feel free to throw a few of ’em his way to show him you’ve noticed how hard he’s working.
6. Let him off the hook sometimes
It’s natural to feel a little protective of you partner every now and again, but don’t guilt-trip him about it. It’s most likely going to make him more stubborn about doing whatever he wants. Men want to enjoy outlets outside their marriage — friends, sports, whatever — and not be made to feel guilty about it. Sometimes, let him go do his thing.
7. Admire him in comparison to others.
Yes, guys love it when you praise them. But can you guess what they love even more? When you praise them in a way that makes them feel like there’s no one else you’d want (or could even imagine) doing it instead. Men want to know that they are valued and irreplaceable. Tell him there’s no one who makes pancakes better than he does – not even your favorite restaurant — he’ll appreciate knowing all the ways he ranks #1 to you.